Happiness Points: #29-35

Peace to Live By Happiness Points: #29-35 - Daniel Litton
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[Transcript may not match broadcasted sermon word for word]

Happiness Point #29: Have a Midday Devotional Refresh

       I am certainly a believer in having a good, solid morning devotional time. It is a place where I can re-gear my mind, per say, and get all of my thoughts in check. I can let go of any desires that have cropped up and are subtly robbing me of my freedom. I remind myself that all that really matters is God. In this whole entire process, then, in whatever I am reading, whether that is a good book or the Good Book, I try to take a few notes so that I can remember what I was thinking about. If I am on my smartphone or tablet, for instance, I accomplish this task through taking a screenshot of the important information.

       One thing I have found is that some days my devotional re-gearing seems to wear off as the day carries along. Sometimes it’s by late-afternoon or even the evening. This doesn’t always happen, but it does on some days. I have forgotten what I had refreshed my mind on in the morning. So, what I have found is that it can be good to have what I call a ‘Devotional Refresh’ that occurs around lunchtime or later in the afternoon. It doesn’t have to be a long time, say ten minutes, where you go over the notes you took from your morning devotion. This ‘keeps alive’ that time well spent so that your good thoughts can carry on throughout the remainder of the day.

       Interestingly enough, where I actually learned with was from Benjamin Franklin. In his autobiography, he goes over his daily schedule and the fact that he would spend some time at lunch refreshing his mind on that morning’s devotional time (see The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, 1790, public domain). He said this helped him throughout the day. I was struck by the simplicity of this, and the fact that it had never occurred to me to do this kind of practice. It seems so obviously good. It is just as we usually don’t simply eat breakfast, and expect that breakfast to carry us until dinner. No, we eat this thing called lunch a few hours after breakfast to get us to dinner.

       Anyhow, the days I have practiced using this method I have found go a lot better. I wish it were the case that everyday my mind could continue thinking about whatever I went over in the morning, but the reality is, with all the other pressures going on in our lives, and all the people we are interacting with, sometimes we just forget. The other thoughts crowd in and therefore crowd out those devotional thoughts. But by using this Midday Devotional Refresh, we can realign our thoughts before they are totally lost in the mix of everything else. This will help us to retain that information throughout the day, and feel better in turn.

Happiness Point #30: Accept that Things Always Change

       With all the variables there are in our world, change is undoubtedly going to come. People come and go from our lives, companies make changes that affect people, our interests change over time, people can pass away, we grow old and cannot do what we used to do. Whatever you want to cite, all the variables make change enviable. Change is guaranteed, no matter who we are, and there is no escaping it.

       I spent a lot of time thinking about change in early 2020, and really trying to come to grips with the concept. It’s funny, because a couple months after contemplating change, the company I worked for announced they were moving my department to a different state. Ah change! Yup, certainly for me change was now occurring. Whether I went or not, there would be change. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it’s just the way the world works. I ended up deciding not to accept the position in the different state and thus move.

       The problem for our minds comes when we decide to resist the change, or have a mindset of resistance in general toward change. This is something that has to be learned—the ability to accept change. It’s just that a lot of people haven’t cultivated this ability. If we haven’t, when change comes there is going to be major shock, followed by complaining, followed perhaps even by a sense of depression. If we know change is always possible, then the announcement of it will bring at most just a minor sadness that passes after a day or two. It’s all in how our minds are geared.

       Why resist something that’s going to happen anyway? Why get all upset over change when this world guarantees us that change is going to occur? Upset occurs in a mind that is not surrendered. Upset is present when desires within the mind are too strong. The only thing, really person, in our lives who doesn’t change is God. He is always there and always constant. Everything else can go. New things can come. People are here one day, and gone the next. Our routine is subject to change. Not holding on to anything too tightly is the key. When we are surrendered to the fact that all the matters is God, this becomes easier and easier. It can be done at anytime—surrendering that strong desire toward anything.

Happiness Point #31: The Kennedy Method of Preparation

       Those who know me best, know I have spent a lot of time in the history books with John F. Kennedy. Indeed, he is one of my favorite historical figures in American history. He was quite a smart guy, and had certain ways about dealing with different things in life that made him unique. One of these ways I will title ‘The Kennedy Method of Preparation.’ Let us define what that is. Well, simply put, anytime Kennedy had something big come up in this life, a big event, he typically would spend the time before it resting and relaxing. It’s as simple as that. There is a lot we can learn from this, however.

       I think we often have found ourselves working up to the last minute before a big event, when instead we should have been resting and refreshing our minds. I mean, this is really one reason why I do morning devotionals. They set my mind in the right place for the day ahead. A lot of famous self-help teachers will tell you the same thing—that the world’s most successful people spend time in mediation at the beginning of the day. But it’s not just at the beginning of the day, but it’s also before ‘big’ events that we should do this.

       So, next time you have that speech to give at church, or that presentation to give at the board meeting, or that big ‘date,’ instead of being all nervous and rolling over it in your mind right up to the moment, spend some time resting and relaxing. Go to the pool if in season, or go grab a coffee at your favorite coffee shop if out of season. The point is, do something relaxing in the time preceding, and I believe you will find that your thoughts will be better, which will lead to better performance. It’s that strong desire to perform well, that over-eagerness, which is actually the problem. That’s what ices us and prevents us from getting the result we really want.

Happiness Point #32: Quit Before You Get Tired

       We know how it is. We are working on a project and we get on a roll. The momentum gets going. Then we feel that because the momentum is in full force that we should keep on going. That two hours of work turns into two and a half, and that two and a half turns into three. Then, we close the lid on our laptop and feel burned out. We let our momentum get the best of us. The reality is, we should have folded the laptop closed and quit working after the two hours we had set aside to work. Now, we are burned out, took an hour from something else, and aren’t going to be as eager to start up the project again the next time because we ate too much of it this time.

       The mind does a tricky thing to us. There seems to be this background fear when we are on a roll that if we stop the momentum, we will lose out on good ideas that are flowing in our minds. It seems like this would be true. For me, personally, that’s what I thought. But one day I started going against what my mind was telling me. I’d close the lid on the laptop at the designated quitting time even if I was in the midst of the momentum. My mind told me, “That’s a stupid thing to do. You’re going to lose out on the good ideas that were coming.” But, I stuck to my decision.

       What I found the next day, when I returned to the project, was that the good ideas would be there ready to go again. My mind had lied to me; it just wanted to keep experiencing the good feelings of the momentum. And better yet, because I had stopped, and was now rested, sometimes I saw something new in my work I hadn’t seen before. In the case of writing fiction, I saw a new direction of where I could take the characters that I would not have seen had I continued working yesterday and continued in yesterday’s thought flow. So, actually, if I would have overworked yesterday, I would have missed something even better. Again, the mind was wrong.

       So, I have found it a good practice to just simply quit before I get tired, get burned out of something, before I’ve had my fill of it. It was Thomas Jefferson who said in his famous Canons of Conduct, “We never repent of having eaten too little.” This statement is true, and it can be applied to things beyond food. We know that if we skip that last piece of pizza we don’t regret it. Actually, we are usually proud of ourselves a half hour later. But if we eat it, a half hour later we usually regret it. It’s the same with our work. We should quit before the overworking pains are flowing through our bodies. We shouldn’t worry about losing what’s for tomorrow anyway. Sure enough, whatever it is, will be there in its time waiting for us.

Happiness Point #33: The Benefit of My God Relationship

       When we are in relationship with God, we realize that it is he that really, ultimately matters. Everything else becomes secondary. That includes our earthly relationships and all of our possessions. The greatness of God is enough for us. Really, in the final analysis, that’s why we were created in the first place, to be in fellowship with God. When we spend time with God, we are fulfilling the purpose for our existence, for the reason we reside here on the earth. It’s not necessarily that we were placed on this earth to do anything in particular. It’s not so we are people on mission. Again, mission like all other things, is secondary.

       Some people base their existence on what they have obtained in this world. They will show us their nice house, their car, show off their wife or husband, show us pictures of their kids... but what does all of this really amount to? These are things which were gained by living in this world, and they are all things that, without exception, will be given up someday in the future. Even relationships in and of themselves are not guaranteed upon transcendence. To put too much stock in other people would be foolish. Sure, we can have good relationships, but like with anything, we should not value them too much. The relationship with God is the only relationship which is constant and unchanging no matter where we are, here on the earth or in the third realm.

       Therefore, if our existence has its foundation in anything else other than God, then within that existence we cannot truly experience peace. Why is that? Well, it’s because that inside our minds there is always going to be the background thought floating around that perhaps I could lose what I have. Something could, indeed, come along and take away my favorite person, or my prized possession. The person could also change over time. Therefore, no matter how hard I try, if I have an over-evaluation placed on someone or something, there is always the cause for disappointment in the end. On the other hand, with God there is never cause for disappointment, that is, unless I am demanding he do things for me and pressuring him to do those things and then he doesn’t do them. We should not judge God for whatever happens in our lives.

       Peace, then, is possible no matter what the circumstances. This is because everything else, that is, everything outside of our God relationship, has been put into its proper place. We can have our possessions, but if we lose them, really that’s okay because we were going to lose them someday anyway. If we love our spouse, we love and enjoy that person while they are with us. We are happy and grateful to God for their presence in our lives. When they leave, we understand that it was possible for that to happen—that’s our current natural order of things. Same with the children. We want them to stay—but we must not want anything too much to the point where we would hurt our relationship with God out of discomfort over a loss.

Happiness Point #34: Bad Company Ruins a Good Person

       We remember what Paul has taught us, that yes, indeed, bad company ruins a good person. It seems common sensical, and yet, through observation, we see that a lot of people don’t take too much heed to this warning. Why is that? I mean, certainly it’s true that if we spend a great deal of time around people who have negative attitudes and negative outlooks that, over time, we will end up the same way. A little bit of that in us, to use another Paul saying, ruins the whole thing. Right? And yet, we see people who surround themselves with the wrong people.

       In my opinion, there are really four different kinds of people. Let’s go over them. First, the worst are the ones who are very negative, selfish, and angry. They are very difficult to be around. Second, there are the ones who are also negative, but they aren’t quite as negative as the first type of person. It is a functional negativity. Still yet, the third kind of person is the one who is positive in general. They are fun to be around and we like them. And finally, the fourth type of person is not only positive, but very loving and in control of their own life. This kind of person is rare, and we know the type when we are around them.

       It’s also true that “birds of the same feather flock together.” Generally speaking, the kind of people we choose to be around and have as friends are usually relatively similar to us. That’s why we are friends in the first place. The people at our church then are generally like us. So, as you advance and become a better person, there may come the realization that you need to change out your friends to new friends. Sounds a little harsh, doesn’t it? But it’s the truth. You cannot continue to keep company with people who will drag you down. If you do, the advancements that you’ve made in your own character can’t flourish. They will eventually die due to a lack of water.

       We cannot always control the kind of people we are around. This is especially true when discussing the workplace. Sometimes you’ll find that you are around people that drag you down, that are too cumbersome. If this is the case, how much more is it important that any friends you have outside of work, and those at your church, are on the more positive side of things? It may come to the point that you need to change where you work. Unfortunately, it’s just the way it is. If you are continually poisoned everyday, that will make you sicker and sicker over time. Now, hopefully, things aren’t this bad with the people you are around, but this is something important to consider when you spend time in prayer with God. Raise up the issue to him, and see what he says. It may be hard to change, but it is worth it once the change has been made.

Happiness Point #35: How We Value Ourselves and Others

       Basically, there are three ways that we value ourselves and others in life. Probably the most common way we judge a person in American society is by what they do for a career. That’s primarily how we size people up. That’s one of the first questions that comes out of our mouths when meeting a new person. We say, “What do you do for a living?” We are sizing them up, trying to get a rank of where they stand in the scheme of things, and where they stand in comparison with us. We are trying to determine if this is a person we should feel jealous of, or if the person is one we can feel better than. But sometimes it is just to really learn what they do for a living.

       Another way we can judge a person, and this one is perhaps even more common the younger we are, is by judging the possessions they have obtained. We know where this primarily takes place these days. It takes place through the scrolling and scrolling over other peoples' ‘things’ to try to see what they have. We want to see what they have obtained to see whether, again, we should feel depressed because we have less, or whether we should feel good because we have more. People will praise those who have less because they feel, perhaps unconsciously, better about themselves. They will ignore those who have more, unless they want to get in good with them and gain some kind of benefit.

       The real way we should judge a person is how Jesus told us to judge them. And what is that? He said we should look at what comes out of a person, remember? He said it is by what comes out, their character, who they are, that makes things clear about them. If they are a good, kind, and loving person, that will manifest itself above all other things. Suddenly we don’t care as much about what they do as a career. We suddenly don’t even care about what they have obtained in the world. Rather, we decide we like who they are—how they act, how they treat others. We want to be around them because they are an enjoyable person to be around.

       So, in considering these three levels of evaluation, what do you think people think about when they think of you? Which level do you honestly feel you fall into? Do you pride yourself on and brag about what you have obtained in the world? Is that how you want others to see you? Or, is it what you do? You want others to think well of you because you do this and that, work this career, volunteer for this ministry. Or, is it that you want others to like you because you are really a nice person? You are really a person that others seek out and want to be around. That should be our ultimate goal.

- Daniel Litton