Happiness Points: #15-21

Peace to Live By Happiness Points: #15-21 - Daniel Litton
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[Transcript may not match broadcasted sermon word for word]

Happiness Point #15: Don’t Spend Too Much Idle Time

       We’ve all heard the old saying, “Idleness is the devil’s workshop.” Actually, what I have found over the years is that is true. It really is the case that the more idle we are, typically the more we find ourselves thinking about things we shouldn’t be thinking about. I think it’s more of a mind thing. It’s not that sitting down in a chair to rest is bad, for a half hour or even for an hour. It’s just that if we do this without watching what thoughts are flowing through our heads, our rest can turn into a really bad thing. We can just sit and ruminate about hypotheses we have in our heads. “What did this person mean when they did that?” “Does this person really like me, or do they just put up with me?” “Is this situation really going to turn out okay, or is there something I’m missing here?” It’s these types of questions that can come to haunt us if we let them.

       So, when you decide to just sit down and do nothing for a time of rest, but mindful of this. Be mindful of your mind.

       What are some things we can do to make sure we aren’t just sitting around idly? One thing that can be done is to re-review whatever you studied in your morning devotion. Remind yourself of what you went over, and that will bring it more permanence in your mind. Another thing is that book. We all have books we have on our to do list to read. They are sitting there on your book-self. You tell yourself, “Sometime I’ll read that book.” But it’s been there a couple years. Because it isn’t ‘new,’ the desire to read it is less. However, just pick it up and start reading it. If it’s not that good, then you can stop (and you can get rid of it by giving it away since you aren’t going to read it). Or, of your favorite books on your shelf, re-read a book. I love to re-read books personally, just as people re-watch their favorite movies. You see a few things you missed the first time you read it. Plus, you’ll be reminded of all the good things you probably had forgotten about.

       Sometimes I think our old-self tricks us into to just wanting to sit around and do nothing. The old-self wants to do this because it wants to have time to focus on what it wants to think about, which is negativity of all kinds. It wants us to feel bad because it wants to be in control. The evil passions lurking inside our flesh want their time in the spotlight. Let’s be real here. And because we have a tendency to default to the negative, it is easier to think bad things than it is to think good things. So, we have to be disciplined in what we pay attention to. There are two forces within each one of us, the old-self and the new-self, and each generates its own hopes and desires. We have to pick which one we will follow.

Happiness Point #16: I Love the Book ‘Feeling Good’

       The truth is, one of my favorite books of all time is titled ‘Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy’ by David D. Burns. In the book, psychologist Dr. Burns discusses the use of Cognitive Therapy, or CT for short. It is a method of treating bad thinking, particularly depression, in the psychology world without the use of medicine (though often the two are used at the same time). But I believe the principles Dr. Burns outlines are beneficial to all kinds of life situations, not just to the depressed mind.

       We want to have control of our thoughts. That’s first and foremost. But, secondly, we don’t want to be thinking about things that really aren’t true. We don’t want to be distorted inside our minds. It isn’t helpful for us when we are believing things about other people that aren’t true. Well, one way to break through all of this is by understanding Dr. Burn’s Cognitive Distortions. There are ten of them, and they are listed in chapter 3 of that book. What Dr. Burns had identified, I believe, is really the tactics by which our enemy (you know whom I’m talking about) strives to work against us. It is this spiritual warfare, to use a big label here, that can make our lives miserable if we let it.

       But then there is also the beloved chapter 14 which is about perfectionism. This has been an ongoing battle for me, though, I’ve definitely gotten better in this area over the years. However, I do, like many others, have a tendency to strive for absolute perfection. If you read that chapter from ‘Feeling Good,’ you’ll know what I’m talking about. There’s nothing wrong with doing a good job, but when you become enslaved to your work, and to trying to make everything just right, then, certainly, it is a problem. Besides, we cannot make anything perfect in this life anyway. There is nothing that is truly perfect, except God himself. And there would even be some that think he’s not perfect. The solution, the only real win in battling perfectionism, is to give it up.

       I would rather do a good job that took two hours to complete than a really good job that took eight hours to complete. The point is that most of our accomplishment gets finished, and all the time spent thereafter, the last six hours, is just refining the details, over-polishing, buffing, and waxing where, at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter. I’m sure you’ve read things, for instance, that were over-written? They were polished so much that they almost became ‘self-aware,’ and they lost a ‘human touch.’ Yes, it’s true. We can overdo things. When something is overdone, it loses that quality of ‘humanness’ that makes all of us alike, and makes people able to relate to us. If you are Mr. Perfect, then no-one can relate to you, and your bar is so high that no-one will feel comfortable around you. It’s as Ben Franklin has said, “a benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself, to keep his friends in countenance” (see The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, 1790, public domain).

Happiness Point #17: Filter Out Your Teachers

       Too many voices speaking to you won’t do you any good. We must choose which voices we allow ourselves to hear, to take in. In our day of great education, and especially Christian education, there are all kinds of teachers who are telling us different things. While, at first glance, this might seem like a good thing, and it is, it can also become a bad thing if we are not careful. If we allow too much council, too many opinions, then we will never arrive at a true opinion of anything. This reminds me of the people of Athens, during Paul’s day, when the Bible tells us all the liked to do was hear and tell of new things. We can become addicted to the thrill of learning new things.

       This is what I do personally. With all the vast variety of Bible teachers out there, I limit myself to six different ones who are allowed to speak to me. That’s right; only six. Any others by whom I happen to listen to, I will listen in what I call ‘observation mode.’ This means I am listening to what they are saying, but not necessarily accepting it word for word. I may take one point from their thirty-minute sermon, but that will most likely be it. In other words, I don’t allow everyone to teach me. Only those six ministers have an exclusive pass to my personal auditorium. They are the only ones who are allowed to ‘really’ teach me (and just in case you’re wondering, two of those six are John MacArthur and Joyce Meyer. But that’s all I’m giving for now).

       And don’t get me wrong, even within my inner-circle of Bible teachers I do not agree with ‘everything’ they say. For starters, I think that one should agree with a Bible teacher at least two-thirds of the time to even consider that person part of the inner-circle. If you aren’t agreeing with them at least that much, how can they be part of your inner group? Anyhow, some of the people in my inner-group I might agree with what they say 67% of the time, others 80%, and still another 90% of the time. For instance, I agree with Joyce Meyer on a lot of her application of Scripture. However, I don’t agree necessarily with her on speaking in tongues. So, does that mean I should immediately disqualify her from my group and declare her ‘no good’ because she believes in speaking in tongues. Of course not. Otherwise, I would miss out on all the things I do agree with her on, which is quite a lot of things. And, also, she can then teach me new things.

       Now in what I’ve said here, some of you might realize that you don’t agree with your own pastor a lot of the time. Let’s say you only agree with him or her 30% of the time. Then, may I ask, what are you doing? Unless the church ‘experience’ (that is, your friends and the atmosphere of the church) makes up for where you disagree with the teaching of your pastor (which it probably won’t), they I highly suggest you consider changing churches. We all have different values. We all have different things we emphasize. You cannot be aligned in a place that doesn’t support what you ‘really’ believe. Yeah, you can be there, but you are going to be miserable week after week. It’s not gonna be a lot of fun. Church should be a blessing to go to, not a curse for you.

Happiness Point #18: Listen to Audiobooks

       Like most people, the first book I ever listened to in the form of audio was the Bible. I think it was the King James Version. That’s probably been some twenty years ago. Even today, however, there are all kinds of audio Bible versions at our fingertips, and a lot of them free. So, listening to the Bible in the form of audio is great. You can recognize words you have never particularly noticed before, and verses can sound different than you have always thought.

       But it is also true that with the rise of technology there are many, many titles available in the form of audiobooks. Many you have to pay for, and there are a variety places you can get them, like from Audible, Apple, or Google, but many also are free. One free book I listened to for the first time lately was The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. This is a true timeless classic, and Mr. Franklin teaches us many things about our own character development. Whether this be his list for thirteen good virtues, or even his admission to his son of his mistakes, there is much that can be learned and modeled from this Forefather. Much of it parallels with the Bible. Franklin famously said in talking about humility, “Imitate Socrates and Jesus.”

       I would attribute at least a third of my learning to listening to audiobooks. Listening is good because, at least for me, my eyes can only read some much in a single day. After say two or three hours or reading, I just don’t feel like reading anymore. And this is an instance where an audiobook can step in and allow me to continue down my path of learning or enjoyment. Besides, an audiobook can obviously go anywhere with you, like to the park for instance, or even during that long workout at the gym. That’s the beautiful thing about audiobooks.

       In taking a quick glance through my personal audiobook library, I notice that about two-thirds of my audiobooks are for learning purposes, and about one-third for enjoyment. In this second category, I listen to both fiction and non-fiction. It can’t be all for educating myself; that would get old fast. Yes indeed. That’s another beautiful thing about audiobooks, is that there is many available for a sheer enjoyment of life. You will find in looking through the major catalogs that there are even movies which have corresponding books in the form of audio, as some of you are familiar with. And, within these, there is often even further development of our favorite movies. Like say, 'Star Wars,' for instance. All kinds of books can be had in that genre. But these books can add more happiness to our days, and pass the time more productively.

Happiness Point #19: Keep Healthy Limits

       In reading Ecclesiastes from our Bibles, particularly chapter 3, we remember that King Solomon famously taught us that everything has its time. In fact, in reading the whole book of Ecclesiastes this theme, and similar thoughts to it, appear over and over. One thing we can take from understanding this knowledge is that we shouldn’t overdo anything in life. We shouldn’t spend too much time on anything. And this includes even things we enjoy for sure.

       I have seen this in my writing before. I love to write. Actually, I could spend hours writing if I wanted to. But I rarely do. That’s because when I get a heavy dose of writing out of my system, then I find later that I come to loath and despise it the next time it comes to do it. That’s simply because I overdosed the last time. When we do something too much, even something we really like, it causes us pain.

       For me, I usually only write one hour a day. Sometimes two. I break projects up like this because that way they always stay exciting. By just giving myself enough for that day, my mind stays fresh and I remain interested in what I am doing. It’s kind of like watching your favorite TV show. If they released eight episodes on a single day, we’d probably overdose on it and be sick of it by the day’s end. But by having one episode at a time, it keeps us on the edge of our seat, ready for the next one.

       I think one reason we want to binge things out is because we are afraid that if we don’t get everything out on paper, that our ideas and thoughts will escape us and not be there the next time we sit down to do our task. I use to fight this myself. I would be afraid if I stopped writing for today early, that the momentum going on in my mind wouldn’t come back. But I have found that when I continue to write past quitting time, the product usually doesn’t end up quite as good. And, when I do stop, and go back to it the next day, I find that my thoughts usually are ready to go again, and sometimes even with new, fresh ideas that I didn’t have before. If I would have insisted on doing it all yesterday, I would have missed out on those new ideas.

Happiness Point #20: Remember to Take a Sabbath Day

       We’re all familiar with the fact that the Israelites in the Old Testament were instructed by God to take a Sabbath Day once a week. Why, it’s in the Ten Commandments. This was placed in there by God for a reason. The reason is that we all need rest. And, boy, is that ever more true in our current day. Rest restrengthens us, allows us to perform better later. It keeps our minds more at peace.

       I am a firm believer in taking one day off from doing any kind of work every week. On this day, I do not work my job. I do not do any work for my radio show. Sometimes I do church activities, but mostly, I rest. I eat well, choosing my favorite meals. I spend time enjoying hobbies. Sometimes I spend time on self-improvement stuff, like reading self-help books or whatever. I play video games. I watch a movie. The point is, I rest, and since work activities are not allowed, I know that rest I will indeed.

       One good reason for doing this besides the rest you have on the actual day is the fact that you know that day is always coming throughout the week. When work has gotten tuff, or something else isn’t going right, if we have the practice of a Sabbath, we know that one day is coming which is set aside for sheer enjoyment. It’s a day we can be refreshed in our relationship with God, a day where we can enjoy our hobbies, a day where we can just sit around and do nothing if we please. We haven’t scheduled anything potentially negative on that day.

       It’s important you keep it holy. If going to the zoo with your family is burdensome to you, you probably don’t want to schedule that on your Sabbath. Doctor’s appointment for me definitely get cut. Grocery isn’t happening on the Sabbath, unless it’s a special trip to get a donut or cake or pie or something. What you do is going to depend on your personal feelings about the subject. But I find this practice to be priceless, and arguably most likely one of the key secrets to my success.

Happiness Point #21: Give Up the Reputation Pursuit

       For years I was haunted by the pursuit of having a good reputation. I always wanted my reputation to be good in front of others. Perhaps you can relate to what I am talking about here. It’s just that, one day, I realized that this pursuit is trivial. It just doesn’t work. It costs us too much mental energy. It’s too tiring. It’s a vain pursuit. For one, people have different expectations from us. Truly, we cannot please everyone all the time. We cannot please all the people all the time.

       A thorough examination of the ministry of Jesus will show you that he cared little about how others saw him. He was on this earth for one reason and one reason only, and we know what that was. It was to do the Father’s will. He had a specific mission in life, and he walked straight on that mission. In the same way, each of us has a specific mission, and we are to carry out that mission regardless of what others think. This is whether or not they agree we should be doing what we are doing. The mission is personal, like it was for Jesus. Only we know what that mission is.

       Everyone makes mistakes. Probably more often than not, people aren’t aware of the mistakes we make. In some cases, people do become aware of them. The point is that mistakes are going to happen because we aren’t perfect people. We are going to be unwise and make choices that we shouldn’t have made. Why is that? Because we're not omniscient, we don’t know everything. We are going to take risks (hopefully). Some of those risks will pay off, and others will not. Some of the 'will nots' could indeed negatively affect our reputation. But that doesn’t mean we should never take risks.

       Famous newscaster David Brinkley noted one time, “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.” We often take remarks made by others against us about this or that as personal. The reality is, within every comment towards us by another that we don’t like, there is the opportunity to learn. Perhaps we do need to do something better? Maybe there is an area were we lack insight? If so, this is the grand opportunity to learn, change, and do differently the next time. Some things can be learned from the textbooks, but some things can only be learned through messing up and doing something over.

- Daniel Litton