Happiness Points: #103-109

Peace to Live By Happiness Points: #103-109 - Daniel Litton
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[Transcript may not match broadcasted sermon word for word]

Happiness Point #103: Create a Looking Forward to Heaven List

       We all know we are going to Heaven someday. I mean, for us it is an intellectual fact. But, what is it actually going to be like? Can we get a picture of it? I think for many of us, our images of Heaven in our minds seem vague. They seem like we really don’t know for sure what to expect. It’s like all we see are white clouds, and perhaps a throne room. Maybe we see people walking around in white robes. That thought comes to us from the Book of the Revelation, where a lot of Heavenly topics are discussed. But overall, we just usually don’t have a clear picture of what to expect, do we?

       One way I think that is beneficial for us to get this clear picture is to actually create our own list of what we think Heaven will be like. We can use the Scriptures to guide us. I will go ahead and create a general list here. We can note that:
- we will have new physical bodies,
- we will be with friends and family members,
- there will be a giant city which is full of fun,
- we could possibly have a new outer-space to explore,
- we will each have a custom-made residence,
- possessions will be in abundance,
  • and most importantly, we will be with God himself.
I think that’s a pretty good overall summary of what we can expect. Definitely some interesting things to consider there, and things which can build up our expectation.

       Understanding those things, what about the specific things? I mean, will there be cars there? Taking it one step further than that, what about particular brands? Will there be Fords, for instance? Actually, I don’t think it’s far out to consider that particular brands and such will be there. I think it actually is possible there will be Fords and other car brands in Heaven (because remember, Heaven is eventually on the new earth; let’s not forget that). I do know for sure there will be one particular car manufacturer there, and that will be the Delorean Motor Company. I’ll let you figure that out on your own time.

       But, the most important thing is that, whether in Heaven, or during the Millennial Kingdom, or on the new earth, we will be physically with God. We spend our earthly time trying to reach God, trying to have substantive time with him. We do that through mediation and prayer. Some of us get pretty far with that. Only, when we are actually, physically with God, it will be like those best of times times a thousand. It will be truly, purely incredible, so much so that the other stuff I have mentioned might not seem so desirable and fantastic after all in comparison.

Happiness Point #104: Practice the 20-Minute Rule

       This is something that I have created in my own life that I have found to be beneficial toward getting things done. We all have days where we don’t ‘feel’ like doing our work, doing the things that we need to do. Really, it could even be our devotional time. We could wake up in a really bad mood and just not feel like reading anything. Or it could be a huge project that we need to work on and one of which we don’t particularly care for, and perhaps we are even dreading it. Well, I have figured out a way past this roadblock to getting things done.

       I call the solution the 20-Minute Rule. Actually, it is quite simple. Generally when I don’t feel like doing something, I just go against my emotions and start doing it anyway. Usually, after about 20 minutes of doing that task, my emotions will have changed as I built up some momentum in doing the task and now (after the 20-minutes) I will actually want to continue working on whatever it is. It is actually quite amazing that we can change our emotions like that. I’ve just found that it usually can take up to 20 minutes for the shift to occur. Sometimes it happens in five or ten minutes.

       Why does this happen, that our emotions will shift? Well, the problem to begin with is that our brains have been lying to us I think. They have said to us, “You really don’t feel like doing this task today. Why don’t you skip it?” But, when we start to do the task, most often those feelings shift and then we feel like doing the task. This is kind of a cousin concept to that of being ready out of season, right? I don’t know how many of my work sessions I have saved by using this technique, this rule if you will. It has saved me many times.

       Now, what if you do the task for 20-minutes and you still don’t feel like continuing it? Well, in that case, I don’t continue. I just stop and say to myself, “At least I tried.” But this is very rare, and usually for me doesn’t happen. As a matter of fact, it has happened so few of times that I can hardly recall any times it has happened. Perhaps if you are facing something really daunting, it could happen. But I think that generally are brains just aren’t telling us the straight story, or perhaps we just want to be lazy and rest. Whatever it is, remember how the 20-Minute Rule could save you and what needs to get done.

Happiness Point #105: Just Saying Something is Bad Doesn’t Make it So

       I’ve talked about varying Christian denominations and varying beliefs that they have. What I am meaning to say is that because there are so many different denominations, there are a vast variety of ideas as pertains to what is good and bad, acceptable and not acceptable. I have experienced it myself on a first-hand basis. Sometimes during the year I’ll visit different churches just to see what is going on, to see how this particular church goes about things versus other churches. I like to sit and observe. And I’ve even done this online since that is particularly easy as more and more churches have online service. But, you get the real ‘feel’ of a church when you are actually there.

       Anyhow, where I am going with this is that in seeing the different churches, I have obviously noticed different ways of going about things. I was in one church recently where the pastor stood up and talked about Feminism, and how Jesus was very supportive of women during his earthly ministry. I was quite surprised, as this wasn’t what I had been expecting. Still yet, at another church which had an interesting name, this time I observed things moving about in a more traditional sense. That is, I wasn’t expecting things to be quite so typical to the standard evangelical way because of the name of the church. The name had led me to make prior assumptions that the church would be more hip and modern, which wasn’t actually the case.

       Anyhow, continuing on with this, pastors have different approaches as well as the congregations in general. Going back to the pastor giving the feminist sermon, he had all kinds of bold claims as to why he was right. He claimed this and that. And actually I agreed with a lot of what he said, though, I am not so sure I agreed with his attitude toward what he was saying in that he was so adamant in what he was saying. I mean, I didn’t like how sure he was because really, at the end of the day, these were more debatable issues he was talking about. I felt him being so opinionated displayed a particular attitude of pride.

       So, on the flip side of this, when I visit a church that does not agree with such things—that Jesus was more pro-feminism than a lot of people believe—does this then mean that they are right because they argue from a more traditional viewpoint? I mean they have thousands of years of church history to back them up. How do I personally decide who is right? The truth is, just because this particular church may disagree with the other church doesn’t mean that the other church is wrong. Just saying something is bad doesn’t actually make it bad or wrong. In many types of these areas in the Christian life, those which are in the big group of third level issues, there are a lot of opinions. And as the Apostle Paul said, we believe what we believe by faith, and each of us stands or falls in front of God based on that faith. There is no need to tear up the one who disagrees because really that is between them and God.

Happiness Point #106: The Three Social Options; Two of Them Produce Happiness

       In considering how social we are, really, in reality, there are three different categories. What I mean is that there are three different social scenarios we can find ourselves in. Let’s go over those so we can understand.

       There is the situation where we are surrounded by negative people. Right? I mean we’ve all been here, and some people are still there, but hopefully they will work themselves out of it. We know how it is. There is too much joking, and not all of it is friendly. People tend to correct others. There are a lot of one-ups. You trying to say something in the group, but you find that there is at least one guy who will top you. Or, perhaps you say something and then it is not even acknowledged that you said anything, and the next person just starts talking about what they want to talk about. And, then, yeah then there is that serious vibe going on. The one that is present from the moment you enter the room.

       The next social situation we can find ourselves in is that we are actually by ourselves. This means that we aren’t with any group. We are just sitting alone. Actually, this isn’t a bad thing if we know how to be by ourselves. If we don’t know how to be by ourselves, how to enjoy our own company, then it definitely can be a bad thing. It depends on the person. But it is often true that you can have a good time just doing what you want to do without anyone else along for the ride. In fact, a lot things we do that are fun are done by ourselves, whether that’s playing on our smartphones, reading a book, watching a movie, going for a walk, or even shopping in a store.

       So, finally, third there is the group of positive people we can be around. I think this is the best case scenario. We know it when we are around positive people. For one, they are genuinely interested in us. They stand there and try to hear what we are saying, and they equally contribute to the conversation as well. We will feel supported and encouraged. Judgment will be a rare thing. Conversations range for the intellectual to the good times of happiness and even balanced joking. They genuinely want to do things that everyone will likely find enjoyable, and are not trying to do things that no one, really, deep down, doesn’t want to do.

       So, experientially, our happiness is found in two of these three settings, being by ourselves or being with the positive group of people. Being by ourselves is definitely better than being with a negative group. Being with the negative types heightens our fear and uneasiness too much, where we are on edge and cannot completely relax. At least by ourselves we can rest and do things that we want to do. Though, I think being with a positive group is the best case scenario, and produces the most happiness for us. While we can be happy by ourselves, we can be ‘happier’ with the positive group. That’s because there’s just almost always good vibes flowing, good times, and no real resistance.

Happiness Point #107: You Don’t Get to Choose Your Fans

       I remember when I first went to start Peace to Live By, and I went about telling people I knew about my new radio show. I thought to myself, “This is great. This person will listen to me, and this person, and that person. I’m going to have so many good listeners who know me.” Well, it didn’t take me long before I realized that wasn’t how it was working. Actually, not at all. What I found was in a given sample of about ten people (that is, ten people that I knew who I told about my show), maybe two of them would actually listen. And of those two, perhaps only one, if that, actually became a fan. I was quite surprised by this revelation as it was happening.

       It wasn’t that I wasn’t good enough, or that what I was saying wasn’t good. It was just that, in reality, we don’t get to choose our fans when we are doing something in the spotlight. In fact, I found that the vast majority of the people who became my fans I didn’t even know. They were from all over the place—different towns, different counties. In the city and out in the country. I even had a guy in India who somehow came upon my show and became a fan. Almost all of my fans were people a didn’t know, save a handful of people. And, most of those who I thought would actually be my fans, were not.

       I think this truth definitely translates itself onto social media. I mean, whatever platform one is on, they create a post, and I think that often times the people that like or react to that post aren’t always those that people expected. I have noticed this. Sure, there are a few that do react the you expected, but then it seems there are many more of whom you are surprised are giving your post attention. Again, we don’t get to choose our fans. But, if we view this differently in that we don’t place expectations on anybody, then we really won’t be disappointed with the results. It is something we have to surrender. People have their own lives with their own stuff going on, and they aren’t always thinking about us first and foremost.

Happiness Point #108: Associate a Related Positive with a Negative

       I have personally found this technique to be beneficial to me over time. That is, generally when it is something during my days that is reoccurring which is negative. Like, I think a good example of this would be a negative news story. If I can find a way to link something positive with the negative, then I am in a better place. Or, sometimes I look at the negative and try to see what is positive in it. Either way, by looking for the positive the negative doesn’t become as impactful, as impactful to me personally at all. Remember, the New Testament tells us to that we are to be thinking about the good. That’s what we are supposed to be dwelling on, and I think this is a good practice because we cannot always control what we are presented with.

       In light of that, that we cannot control what we are presented with, that means negativity is going to come to us that we wish would rather not. This can even come in the form of someone in the office sharing something bad that happened to them, and they may be even looking for comforting words from us about it. Well, if we are good at looking for the positive, we can then, after sympathizing with them, perhaps present something on the bright side of things. We can work to be kind, comforting, and even encouraging, again, all things that the New Testament tells us to be mindful of.

       We can even use our imaginations in order to associate the positive with the negative. Maybe we do this with a negative bad experience. Like, let’s say there is something in our past that tends to come to our minds from time to time. It is something that we still haven’t surrendered all the negative energy out of it. Well, what we can do is try to immediately bring to mind what became beneficial to us from going through that negative experience. That is, how did God work it out for the good? What did we learn? How is our life better now? By focusing on these positives, then the negative doesn’t seem all that negative anymore. This is something I have found to be particularly beneficial, and something that definitely increases my happiness.

Happiness Point #109: The Five-Second Rule on Thoughts

       You don’t need me to tell you that everyone has certain thoughts that come to mind on occasion that we don’t want. These thoughts come to us more than I think we realize, and we just haven’t recognized that fact. But, we all have these thoughts. A lot of times they come to us when we are getting upset about something. They just seem to come to mind to try to make things worse. Then sometimes they come to our minds when we are feeling good, or trying to have a good experience. It is almost as if there is an intelligence behind them which is trying to spoil our enjoyment. Sometimes the thoughts are successful at messing up what we are trying to focus on, and then there are times we are able to move past them.

       Personally, my belief on these type of rogue thoughts is that they come from our constant attempt to suppress them. What I mean is that all of our minds have collected a lot of bad things. These are negative past experiences, or negative things we have seen or heard about that now reside in the recesses of our minds. So, it’s like our minds are like a geyser that spews out water, and the water represents the negative things. Therefore, we always have one hand on the geyser trying to keep the negativity from coming forth. So, what happens is that when we get angry, we are so upset that we take our hand off of the geyser to deal with the anger. That allows negativity to come forward. Same thing happens when we are trying to enjoy something. We’ve taken our hands off the geyser and then that starts to allow the water of negativity to spray in our minds.

       So, again, the Biblical saying becomes true for us, that it is the little foxes that spoil the vineyard. We can’t have a good time if we don’t have good discipline of our minds. That means choosing what to think about. Sounds simple, yet, it’s been one of the greatest battles I’ve ever faced. I’m sure you would agree. But, since we’re short on time, I’ll make it simple. I’ll cut straight to the point. The truth is, all of our thoughts are rooted in some sort of desire we have. Could be the desire for love, wealth, success, relationships, etc. All desires, though, no matter what you consider, lead to one ultimate goal. You know what that goal is? Well, you should by now. And, that is happinesses. All of our desires are to achieve happiness.

       So, what do we do about our problem? How do we handle the rogue thoughts that come to us? In order to handle them, we have to learn to detach ourselves from them understanding that they’re not ours to begin with. We have to realize that they are just thoughts. They are thoughts that are being presented to us without our choice, much like TV commercials when we are watching TV. We don’t get to choose the commercials. So, we have to learn to ‘observe’ them with no judgement, and then they will pass. We don’t react to every TV ad. We don’t go to the website of the business or dial their number. In the same way, we don’t need to react to the random, rouge thoughts that come to our minds.

- Daniel Litton